Arghhh! Gay marriage.

There has been much written and said about the UK government's proposal to allow gay marriage.Wr have also been distracted from the real issues by the intemperate language of Cardinal Keith O'Brien. We shouldn't be too hard on the Archbishop, allowing that we all make mistakes. If he doesn't by now regret his words, he might well reconsider how he exercises his ministry in persona Christi. I fail to hear The Lord in his words.

The pastoral letter of the Archbishops of Westminster and Southwark is clearly following traditional teaching but is more conciliatory in tone than that of the Scotish prelate. The pastoral refers throughout to the two elements of marriage: "marriage provides the best context for the flourishing of their relationship and for bringing up their children". Are infertile couples to be denied such a support for the flourishing of their relationship? Of course not. So why should same-sex couples be denied the support that this core social unit has to offer? I'd go further and ask why a couple, seeking to faithfully live a life of love should not come before the God of Love for a blessing?

Creativity is an essential element of marriage but this doesn't simply mean the procreation of children. Indeed, in the three versions of the nuptial blessing, mention of children is in parentheses - propagation of the species, while a usual element, isn't an absolute essential. In the nuptial blessing  all couples are called upon to love creatively, mirroring and witnessing to the dynamic life of The Trinity.

"Lord, grant that as they begin to live this sacrament
they may share with each other the gifts of your love
and become one in heart and mind
as witnesses to your presence in their marriage.
Help them to create a home together."
or
"Lord, may they both praise you when they are happy
and turn to you in their sorrows.
May they be glad that you help them in their work
and know that you are with them in their need.
May they pray to you in the community of the Church,
and be your witnesses in the world.
May they reach old age in the company of their friends,
and come at last to the kingdom of heaven."
The nuptial blessings only talk in terms of man and woman because nobody's thought until now to do otherwise. Much has been said in the general debate about the immutability of the institution of marriage.  This is nonsense as the briefest look at its history will show. In the Judeo-Christian tradition how marriage is understood has developed and its form has changed. As recently as a thousand years ago, the sacrament of marriage was only open to the rich with the poor jumping a broom or, if they were lucky, being giving a grudging blessing in the porch of their parish church. Why should our understanding be fixed now and for all time?

As for those who advise us dissenters to leave, how can we? I was made a child of God, made a new creation, through baptism. The Church is a family not a club. I can't have my membership revoked for infringing the club statutes. As the child of a loving and attentive Father, I'm not going to be abandoned. I may be described by some as a dysfunctional family member, but I remain a member of the family, regardless.

The Spirit still moves in the hearts of people of goodwill and perhaps contemporary society has much to teach us. If we showed a willingness to listen to the world, perhaps the world might be more willing to hear our Good News. Dialogue and respectful, loving dissent can only enrich the life of the Church.